Ren Vasey

Lines By Ren Vasey:

11
The years of litigation has taken a toll on my finances, so I live alone in studio apartment on the outskirts of town that costs $35 each week and sup on two boiled hotdogs and a glass of water each night.
16
Seriously though, my parents were children of the sixties, and, true to their subculture, they had named me Baskin Robbins as a way to stick it to their middle class upbringing which they perceived as dominated by materialism and greed.
4
And I was wearing the wrong pants. "Holy Cat Ass!" I thought to myself as I looked down at my 50 inch JNCO jeans.
8
"Hey Laura. How you been? Why don't you get me a slice of...you know what...a DOUBLE slice of that triple D cake. Today's gonna be a good day."
0
"Holy Cat Ass!" I thought to myself, trying to stay calm.
0
The tremendous output of methane gas from her posterior had forced the royal health inspector to sequester her in the abandoned tower overlooking the kingdom.
2
She was particularly fond of unpasteurized Stiltons—indulging in a slice with her afternoon tea—but the royal health inspector forbade such reckless consumption of this most unholy of microorganism-infested milk food products.
13
The 'Dirty Dog Doozie' topped the charts for 12 straight weeks and inspired a rather risqué dance that required super natural balance and coordination.
2
As I took my first bite of that ice cream cake, my mind started calculating fast. I should call Dan. He'll know what to do.
0
I dig up some quarters from the depths of my pockets and walk over to the payphone. It's covered in dust and grease. A long forgotten remnant of the past.
2
my hands slipped over the slick surfaces. I stifled a cry. This was not the expected outcome of the experiment.